I was feeling discouraged and depressed. Not quite dream-less, but definitely beginning to surrender to the lie that my dreams are not worth pursuing.
You see, I had recently turned a corner in my life. I made a decision to start pursuing my dreams. One whisper, one baby step at a time. I had decided to choose moments of bravery over a lifetime of safety.
That choice comes with some very high highs and some very low lows.
So this day was a low. After days or weeks of encouragement, enthusiasm and energy, I hit the inevitable wall. I was finally... blah. My self esteem was a bit stunted. My motivation was nonexistent. The piles of laundry and unused cleaning supplies made my big house feel like it was caving in on me.
My kids were asleep which meant I was even more aware of the lowness of my low. Silence has a way of shouting self doubt.
I heated up my coffee for the hundredth time that day and tried to distract myself with a task that had nothing to do with me.
I refocused my eyes on one of my friends. I focused on her dream for a hot second.
I hid away in my office, away from the laundry and the mess and I started to read the first draft of her first book.
Do you know what freaking happened?
I got goosebumps. I got energy. The dream-flame within me was fanned to life again.
Not because I had a great idea. Not because I self-talked my way to a positive outlook.
But because I made space in my life to link arms with my friend who needed feedback and friendship in the midst of chasing her dream.
I put a stop to my obsession with my daily to-do list failure long enough to see beauty and encouragement that was waiting for me on my computer screen.
I chose to be a cheerleader instead of wallowing in self-pity. And that choice ended up being exactly what I needed.
Have you ever experienced this?
You don’t even realize you are stuck in a self-centered swamp. Since your thoughts are self-deprecating, the pride and narcissism are disguised. But that’s the trick right there.
We were created to acknowledge the gifts within us and those around us. To ignore the existence of the gifts or worse, see them and turn a blind eye, is an insult. I believe it’s an insult to the Creator. He did a good thing making you and I. It was all intentional and beautiful and now, it’s our responsibility.
It's our responsibility to live bravely, using our gifts and talents to follow our dreams. To love and encourage generously. To link arms with each other.
I believe that this Creator intended for us live linked and not lonely. He did not ever want us to keep our focus on ourselves. And I know this is true, because I feel when I’m doing it wrong and I see what happens when I do it right.
Wrong feels small and tight. Wrong feels obsessive and anxious.
But right? Right feels exciting and uplifting. Right feels like endless possibilities and peace. Right feels like choosing to be a cheerleader when you think you've forgotten how to cheer.